Teaching interpersonal skills is both an art and a science. Human beings are so diverse and complex that many times it is hard to predict their response. One time, I proposed to an organization the idea of improving their leaders’ empathy skill to increase engagement in their workplace. At that point, I didn’t have any idea on how to do that. When the organization agreed to it, I considered several alternatives, but none predicted the results I wanted.
I decided to make it an experience. What if they experience what empathy is and are able to describe why it is important? This became an example of how to influence a team into the direction I wanted. Here’s what happened:
A group of 10 senior leaders of an organization were invited to a teambuilding exercise in the Old San Juan area. They had no idea about the activities to be conducted that day, only that walking was included, which meant comfortable shoes and clothing. They were sent in pairs to the streets of Old San Juan to talk to homeless individuals. The task was to get to know them and learn how they became homeless. They were also asked to do something for this person, which was open to their creativity.
This was definitely a risk I was taking. I could not predict if homeless people were going to cooperate or if the group was going to accept the challenge. I was very nervous. Suddenly, I saw the looks on their faces…most of them were excited! “Let’s go!” was the response. At least, one person in each pair was fine with the activity, which moved the other into going for it!
The experience was successful! The team came back with new perspective and humbled by the activity. They learned that some homeless people are parents, artists, musicians, have college degrees, but something tragic happened to them that took them to the streets. They learned that not all homeless are drug addicts. They learned that when you listen to people with the intent of understanding and learning more about them, you can discover talents and new ideas.
I asked them about the second part of the activity: what did you do for them? I wanted to know if they just offered money or were creative in their approach. Some pairs identified the favorite sweet treat for the homeless and brought it to them. Others offered a hug. Others a cold drink. They were able to experience gratitude as part of the activity, which was a bonus!
After listening to them and debriefing on how they felt about the whole process, I asked them: what can you learn from your employees if you approach them with this same curiosity? If you show them how much you care about their needs? If you explore what other talents they have, besides the job they are assigned to, what do you think would be the result? Those questions provided the basis for the action plan they developed, which included the “how to” show empathy to their employees.
Influencing others requires an evaluation of what drives the behavior of the people you want to influence. Giving a lecture on empathy to leaders of an organization would not have the impact that experiencing empathy provided.
Influence is then, a deliberate act of:
(1) knowing your audience,
(2) having a clear objective in mind, and
(3) executing the right strategies to accomplish that objective.
Influence is a skill that all people should develop. Imagine how much you can accomplish by applying it in the workplace. In future articles, we will expand on each of these steps to influence others effectively. Visit our website www.evvolutionpr.com frequently for more information. You can leave a comment here or contact us privately, if you have questions related to this topic.
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About the author: Wilda M. Torres, PhD in Industrial Organizational Psychology; President and Founder of Evvolution Consulting; Senior Consultant Organizational & Leadership Development.
Copyright 2020 Wilda Torres Dba EVVOLUTIONPR. All Rights Reserved.
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